Tribute to Him

Tribute to Him

I could never forget

            The little things

Like my cereal in the cupboard

            Purchases made for me

Censoring for a child

            Teddy bears collected to provide comfort

Cd-roms with stereos attached

            Globes and books for education

There was no moth ball-dust collected childhood

            This was new

A fresh perspective on how it could be

            How it should be

His presence was neither fear or loathsome

            But warm and kind

I did not feel judged

            Nor criticised, persecuted or tried

                        Just loved

There was no expectation on who I should grow to be

            No hurtful assumption

I am in debt for him

            He was neither father nor friend

But ally

            A friend

                        Someone I will love for the rest of my life

This is,

            My tribute to him.

I can’t say I love you

I can’t say I love you

I can’t say I love you,

Because the words are simply not enough

“I love you” does not describe the comfort of your presence

Or the melodic drum of your steady beating heart

“I love you” does not define how safe and warm I feel around you

Nor does it adequately reflect the shape of your fingers

Entwined in mine

Or the way when I look down,

I can’t distinguish which ones are yours or which are mine

I love you cannot eloquently describe your beautiful blue eyes

Like shining shooting stars dipped in pure white marble

Illuminated in those kind framed eyes, a galaxy just for me

I cannot say I love you because it does not represent the sweet-smelling skin you always have,

Or the way your blonde curled hair frames your face

I can’t say I love you because of how its been misunderstood; used and abused

As a possession, restriction used to shame and confine

I cannot say I love you because it is not an adequate ‘thank you’

For always having my favourite drink in the fridge

Or the way you calm the clutter and confusion with your gentle-whispered words

It does not explain how, when I see you, I am instantly warmed as if you were the sun,

Or how your arms are like fluffy home-made quilts, providing comfort

Or the way you hug me, letting me that everything will be okay

I love you does not depict how happy you make me,

Or how hard you make me laugh

Or sketch the truth about finding my sanctuary in your heart

It does not truly illuminate the way I no longer fear the dark when I am with you

Or how I no longer fear closing my eyes to dream

“I love you” cannot illustrate the respect I have for you

Or how grateful I am for you and your existence

I cannot say I love you; because I love you too much